You Ought to Give Iowa a Try
Big news! The Future Gringo staff is temporarily relocating to Iowa. I’m taking up a free lance sales job selling band instruments and uniforms to the young city kids there. I already have a genius plan: You see the local parlor just put in a pool table, so I’ll convince the town council that a pool table will lead to evil and nefarious activity and general rascalary. Such as spitting. Needless to say kids who pass their time playing the trumpet while marching to snazzy red uniforms will be far more productive, even if the risk of turning out gay is slightly higher. (With a capital G which rhymes with P…)
When you pull up a city on Google Maps you’ll see some select user uploaded photos on the left, usually of skylines of popular city sights. If you pull up Sioux Center, IA, on Google Maps you’ll see a photo of a monstrous tornado taken by Tim DeBoer. Yikes!
What am I actually doing in Sioux Center? Well if I don’t fall in love with the town librarian I’ll be helping a relative move back to Michigan. Since I’ve piloted a U-Haul thrice times through the Rockies and western U.S. I offered my U-Hauling prowess to my family. Plus I just saw Modern Marvels: Trucking on the History Channel and they featured the Iowa 80 Truck Stop, (world’s largest,) so even though I think I’ve been there before it’ll be fun to pay a visit.
It’s been a while since I’ve done a road trip through the midwest so I’m looking forward to it. Sure it’s fun to joke about the tornados, haystacks, and city ordinances that impede metrosexual acrobatic guys from Chicago from dancing and dating the minister’s daughter, but I really do enjoy the midwest.
If you’d like to say hello you can catch me at the Pizza Ranch tomorrow night for dinner. 251 Main Street. I’ll try to get some posts in but will also be busy updating the Sioux Center Chamber of Commerce website.
By the way why does United have a daily 757 flight from Denver to Omaha, with all seats booked no less? I wonder where that repositions to after its 11pm arrival?
Great now I have the whole musical in my head…