My last Buenos Aires dinner was Te Matare Ramirez. (Spanish for “I will kill you, Ramirez”) I had seen this restaurant banner in a local gay to-do magazine – and was advertised as an erotic themed restaurant. An erotic themed restaurant. WTF?

Upon arrival it seemed more classy and refined, and not cheesy or tacky. We got there and were seated. Although we were the second people there, the restaurant soon filled up, and I was surprised no one left. People take their time with meals, and don’t rush through their dinners. The tables were filled with mostly couples, but some small groups of friends congregated at tables too. Again we had an incredible meal of chicken, asparagus, and a chocolate dessert.

Then came the weird part: We had been there about two and a half hours and were ready to head out, but we realized no one else was leaving! We weren’t sure if a show of some sort was going to start, so we got up to leave and our waitress rushed over to make sure everything was ok. We explained we had some plans for the night and it certainly wasn’t our perfect meal and mellow ambiance causing us to leave.

Edit: We probably should have stayed and seen what events would have transpired. Unfortunately my short patience got the best of us. This later dated NY Times article explains in detail the food and concept of Te Mataré Ramirez.

It’s an erotic restaurant, both in its food and decor. Sensual combinations include garlic and sun-dried tomatoes mixed with sweet elements and poured over sautéed or marinated meats with deeply embedded flavor. This emphasis on contrasts creates some of the most flavorful cooking in town. The ceilings are decorated with paintings of naked men and women with nothing more on than high-heeled shoes, mixed in with naughty cherubs. Erotic art hangs on the walls, all of it for sale. The lighting is boudoir red, and wine is consumed out of antique cut crystal glasses that cast red sparkles on the tablecloths. Black-clothed actors perform playfully racy shows on a small stage, using hand-held puppets who do very naughty things. It’s hard to describe this place as romantic, but certainly a dinner here could lead to post-meal hanky-panky when discussing the play. Slow, soft jazz or bossa nova music plays as you eat, adding to the mood for love.

Website at (and photo from,) tematareramirez.com. They’re at Paraguay 4062, in the Palermo neighborhood of Buenos Aires.