The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America by Dave Gilmartin looks hilarious. I want it for my coffee table.

Book Description

The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America surveyed thousands of Americans to find the fifty dirtiest, smelliest, most miserable cesspools, armpits, and tourist traps that make up this great land of ours. The “winners” of this awful distinction include the likes of:
Atlantic City, New Jersey—Come for the slots. Stay for the gang warfare and fourth-rate prostitutes.
Gary, Indiana—Like a sewer populated by 100,000 people.
Carson City, Nevada—Perfect for folks burned out on the high culture of Reno.
Fairbanks, Alaska—Take the most horrible place you’ve ever been, then subtract the sun.
Jacksonville, Florida—Possibly the foulest-smelling city in the Western hemisphere.
Camden, New Jersey—Once the proud home of America’s first mass murderer, it’s been all downhill since then.

Perfect for your friends unfortunate enough to live in Baltimore or Houston, The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America is an uproarious look at the dregs of our otherwise wonderful country.

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The normal predictability of my weekend routine was thrown into complete chaos this morning when I found my neighborhood coffee shop, (Diedrichs at 1200 Clayton in Denver’s Congress Park), now operating as a Daz Bog location. I have no problem with Daz Bog’s coffee. Daz Bog services my work and has decent enough coffee, but the changes made in just one day at this (or MY) coffee shop have been shocking and have thrown my life completely off kilter.

First: the sandwiches. Diedrichs served a fresh made ham or turkey sandwich filled with fixins, including pickles and cucumbers. They have now vanished. I wasn’t the only one bitching. Many Congress Park regulars were commiserating along side myself about the loss of these well priced delectable delights. If only I had taken a picture of one of these wonderful sandwiches. Now they exist only in my memories.
Second: The Iced Tea. This is now a medium. What the fuck? This barely qualifies as a small. AND, they charge for a refill. Formerly refills were gratis. If you’re going to charge for a refill, at least proved a substantial cup for your initial fill.

The new management was friendly on their first full day functioning as Daz Bog, however plenty of Congress Park locals, including myself, found themselves irritated and annoyed.

Yes yes change is inevitable. But my thoughts to Daz Bog, and any new proprietors taking over a business: If you plan on making changes, don’t do them on your first day. Leave things the way they are for a while. Improve on your technique, offer new products and services to capture people, THEN phase out the old.

Until then, my life is in complete disarray.

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This was linked from a story on Consumerist.com (below). From Edmunds.com An insightful and amusing story of writer Chandler Phillips going “undercover” selling new and used cars. A short story ala Nickel and Dimed style.

Confessions of a Car Salesman

Car salesmen and women seem to exist in their own world. What they think is cool is viewed by the public as tacky and obvious. For example, why do they insist on wearing white shirts and silk ties? Or what about gold watches, rings and chains? Who wears that stuff anymore? Don’t they realize they are turning themselves into walking cliches? The only answer I came up with was that, as a salesman, I spent all my time with other salesmen. They were my friends. Believe it or not, I tried to fit in, to belong. So I began to develop an interest in gold ties, white shirts and dress shoes. I even grew a goatee because a lot of the guys had beards. And I put gel on my hair and combed it straight back.

The process begins by asking the customer how much they want for a monthly payment. Usually, they say, about $300. “Then, you just say, ‘$300… up to?’ And they’ll say, ‘Well, $350.’ Now they’ve just bumped themselves $50 a month. That’s huge.” You then fill in $350 under the monthly payment box. Michael said you could use the “up to” trick with the down payment too. “If Mr. Customer says he wants to put down $2000, you say, “Up to?” And he’ll probably bump himself up to $2500.” Michael then wrote $2,500 in the down payment box of the 4-square worksheet. I later found out this little phrase “Up to?” was a joke around the dealership. When salesmen or women passed each other in the hallways, they would say, “Up to?” and break out laughing.

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I’ve been reading this phenomenally informative and entertaining site for the past few weeks.  It’s tough to find sites that are practical, save you money, AND are fun to read.  Check out this leaked employee manual from the Geek Squad.  Christ they can’t even turn off the shtick for a paragraph. 

The Consumerist also details the nefarious activities of companies big and small, and chronicles the fine print of all things consumptive from autos, credit cards, internet, and retail. 

They’re updated several times daily, and the quality of it’s content, researchers, and investigations are constantly of the highest quality. Check it out before your next trip into the retail world, or on your next internet break at work.

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Hacking John McCain, from Newsvine.  John McCain comes out in support of gay marriage on myspace. Maybe he’ll come out for real, or use the incident as a tool for discussion.

Yet another reason to loathe Mr. James Dobson.  Dobson questions Senator Fred Thompson’s spiritual leanings:

“Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for,” Dobson said of Thompson. “[But] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression,” Dobson added, saying that such an impression would make it difficult for Thompson to connect with the Republican Party’s conservative Christian base and win the GOP nomination.

Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, took issue with Dobson’s characterization of the former Tennessee senator. “Thompson is indeed a Christian,” he said. “He was baptized into the Church of Christ.”

I don’t even want to know what the “pro-family” movement is.  So just who the fuck is Dobson to “think” whether or not someone is a Christian?  And what business is it of his to publicly question it?  Why do we as a society place so much importance on the theological foundations of our political candidates?  That’s THEOLOGICAL leanings.  Not day to day MORAL leanings, because those seem to lose out in an avalanche of adultery, gambling, and gay hookers. Dobsons’s sheeple should be ashamed and insulted he would make such a vile comment about someone’s personal life.

Why do deeply held personal beliefs need to be analyzed by a man who runs an organizing devoted to channeling hundreds of thousands of dollars into radio and television ads promoting POLITICAL messages?  By the same token, no political candidate should advertise his religious holiness either.

And of course Focus on the Family issued a bunch of bullshit to hem and haw around Dobson’s extremely insulting statement:

In a follow-up phone conversation, Focus on the Family spokesman Gary Schneeberger stood by Dobson’s claim. He said that, while Dobson didn’t believe Thompson to be a member of a non-Christian faith, Dobson nevertheless “has never known Thompson to be a committed Christian—someone who talks openly about his faith.”

“We use that word—Christian—to refer to people who are evangelical Christians,” Schneeberger added. “Dr. Dobson wasn’t expressing a personal opinion about his reaction to a Thompson candidacy; he was trying to ‘read the tea leaves’ about such a possibility.”

Russian Space Debree almost hits a Lan Chili Airliner.   Note to Russians: next time you’re firing your Soviet era space junk back to earth, aim for these coordinates.

According to media reports, the LAN Airbus A340 was traveling between Santiago and Auckland, New Zealand. The pilot notified air traffic controllers at the Auckland Flight Center after seeing flaming, incandescent fragments of the satellite flying through the sky eight kilometers in front of the aircraft. He described seeing pieces of debris lighting up as they re-entered the earth’s atmosphere.

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I have no idea why this is amusing but it made me laugh:

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Group alleges profiling at Aurora Mall.  I read this in agreement, wondering if mall security lurks after white Abercrombie guys and spaghetti strapped white girls to the degree they fret over black and Hispanic kids.  One quote got me in particular:

“A review of these complaints shows that an overwhelming majority of them were indeed from young people, but access was denied due to failure to present valid proof of ID or for violations of the mall’s posted Code of Conduct,” the statement said.

Wait, since when do you need ID to wander through the mall and shop at PacSun, even IF you’re underage?  If a gang of geriatrics can go mallwalking in their blue track suits and not be hassled then why can’t a group of teenagers do the same thing?  This isn’t a nightclub.  They aren’t serving cocktails.  Why should teens be requested to hand over their ID if they aren’t doing anything wrong?   I’m no fan of teenagers, but I’m a fan of their equal rights.

Speaking of teenagers, this one was ordered off a flight for coughing to much.  She was hacking, had been to the hospital, and unlike the bus, (or the mall), the people around her can’t get up and switch seats.  No complaints here.

Pope Benedict reminds us that hell is real.  Why is this reported as news?  Oh yeah, the insanely powerful influence of such delusional sorts.  That and there hasn’t been any news out of the Vatican lately, so why not pull up some boilerplate scare stories.  And just like the folks over at Rapture Ready, they’re convinced no good exists in the earth, and it might as well be consumed in a hellish orgy of destruction.

“The problem is not only that our sense of sin has declined, but also that the world wars and totalitarianisms of the 20th century created a hell on earth as bad as anything we can imagine in the afterlife,” Professor Bagliani said.

In 1999, pope John Paul II said heaven was “neither an abstraction nor a physical place in the clouds, but that fullness of communion with God, which is the goal of human life”. Hell, by contrast, was “the ultimate consequence of sin itself. Rather than a place, hell indicates the state of those who freely and definitively separate themselves from God, the source of all life and joy”.

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For the past few years when traveling for a few days, camping overnight, or a long week plus journey I’ve used a large simple yet durable REI backpack I’ve owned for about seven years. I’ve supplement that with this small messenger bag by High Sierra, which has sufficed as my “daily around town” bag too. But it suffers one from one atrocious design flaw: The worthless handle pictured at the top. The handle is connected to the front flap, which is only secured to the bag by two small strips of velcro. When lifting the bag by the handle, (which I never did), it awkwardly yanks the front flap up dangling the bag below. There’s absolutely no point in having the handle unless you’re transporting a bunch of feathers, and even then I’d have my doubts.

Since I’ve been using the Timbuk2 Classic Messenger Bag this past month, my travel attache has been both expanded and compacted at the same time. I wanted to upgrade to something large enough to take on long trips, yet small enough to bike and walk around the city with every day.

Timbuk2 has been around forever, and is the staple for most messenger bags. Other bags such as Chrome have improved on their design and durability, and Ortlieb has filled the niche for high quality hard shelled bike bags, but I’m happy with Timbuk2’s design, support, and selection.

The most practical feature is the chest strap that stabilizes the bag on your back. This distributes the weight while preventing it from shifting while walking fast or biking. A simple concept, but often overlooked. The shoulder strap is QUICKLY adjustable, so whether you have a laptop and six books inside for school, or just your lunch and some bills to mail, it’s easily adjustable via the side strap clasp. And look at all this freakin’ space! I can easily fold up a few shirts, pants, personal sundries, books, and have room for more. I’ve carried my heavy laptop in this with no problems, and when biking and utilizing the shoulder strap it tapers around my back like a bear hug from the bitch seat.

Timbuk2.com

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From CNN.com:  Martha Stewart wants to use the town “Katonah” for product line.

I read this twice and first thought “Good on the citizens of Katonah for not being bullied around by Martha”. Then I read it again from a different angle.  First, the peasants of Katonah should definitely be concerned over Queen Martha’s activity.  Similar to Microsoft attempting to patent the name “Windows” years ago, (which was rejected), no one should hold a trademark over such a broad and common name.  Someone that owns a trademark of an entirely city name can then control who uses it, in what sense it’s used, and dictate renumeration for use.  If the name “Katonah” is owned by Martha then my “Katonah Candles” cart could technically be shut down should Martha feel violated.  That’s very bad for the individual.

On the other hand, just because Martha Stewart and Martha Stewart Living is a giant company shouldn’t PREVENT them from being able to use the name Katonah, just as I shouldn’t be prevented from making “Katonah Wicker Baskets”.   It’s just Martha’s wicker baskets will be in every Bed Bath and Beyond with the name Katonah on them. 

The Katonah Village Improvement Society voted on Monday to take whatever action it deems necessary to keep Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia’s from using the Katonah name for lines of furniture, paints and other homemaking products.

John Cuti, an attorney for Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, has said that Stewart’s use of the Katonah name will not keep residents from using the name. He said it was quite common that place names are used in trademarks, such as Nantucket Nectars or Philadelphia brand cream cheese.

Ron Romanowicz, president of the Katonah Chamber of Commerce, said village business owners are concerned about whether they will be able to use the hamlet name for their product lines if Stewart owns the trademark.

But fair use is fair use.  A big corporation shouldn’t be told what to do any more than the peasant with a lemonade stand.  The issue is what happens AFTER the name Katonah is recognized nationwide as a brand of pots, oven mitts, or whatever else it’s becoming.  So good on the citizens of Katonah for being involved and keeping a wary eye.

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This article “Vegas on the Cheap” was reprinted in the Denver Post from L.A. Time’s Rosemary McClure.  Some obvious info on when to visit, but also lists three off but near strip hotels including The Artisan on Sahara, the historical (for Vegas) Binions, and the South Point Hotel.  I like her description of Binions:

My room reflected that past. Remember when people smoked and sometimes burned the furniture with their cigarettes? Check. Remember the mauves and turquoise and sea foam greens of a 1980s dental office waiting room? Check. Remember when bathrooms were so tiny that the doors had stoppers about knee high to keep them from smashing into the toilet? OK, I don’t actually remember that as a style, but it was part of this room.

From CNN’s Julie Clothier:  Heliskiing in far east Russia.  Very cool.

In Kamchatka, skiers stay in accommodation in downtown Petropavlovsk, a 20-minute drive from the helicopter base.  From there, they are transported to the slopes of a volcano range. Each run is, on average, 1,400 vertical meters long (4,600 vertical feet), roughly taking an hour to ski down depending on how fast you travel. The longest run in Kamchatka is 4,000 vertical meters (13,100 vertical feet).

Morland’s favorite part of a skiing trip is seeing the looks on people’s faces when they land in the snow for the first time.  “You go from the sound of the helicopter to the sound of absolute solitude in the space of a few seconds.  “You’re surrounded by untouched slopes in the wilderness with just you and your friends. There are no chairlifts and the helicopter is at the bottom waiting for you when you ski down,” he says.

“It’s incredible. It’s like landing on another planet. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. There are volcanoes smoking everywhere, you can ski right down to the beach, down to sea level. Some of the runs go on for what feels like for ever. It’s the wild-west of heli-skiing.”

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Costa Rica has been on my travel radar since the first big snowstorm in Denver last December, (and the subsequent 2nd, 3rd, and 4th storms).   Alas I’ve been working hard and saving for our Europe trip in May, but also reading and researching the best spots in Costa Rica for a potential visit later this year.

I found the Banana Azul Guest House online. They’re located in Puerto Viejo, on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica.  The eastern side of the country is known to be less touristy and more isolated, contrasting the more visited cities of Manual Antonio and Quepos.

Bananaazul.com is worth a visit.  In addition to photos and the rates of their guest homes;  you’ll find maps, travel tips, practical tourism info, and blog entries about life in Puerto Viejo.  And the photo gallery can’t be missed:  Beautiful pristine beaches, wildlife, and lush vegetation.  Worth shutting your office door for a few and taking an armchair visit to the rich coast.

Photos from www.banazaazul.com

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I don’t know what’s more amusing:  The fact that a savvy, smart woman who’s also a businessperson is presented as something incredibly unique and inimitable, or that they just HAD to balance out her “powerful woman” persona with a shot of her putting on makeup.

I like the stuffy curmudgeon seated next to her.  And apparently the flight attendants actually used the French flag as a uniform?  You’ve come a long way baby.

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SUVS en fuego!!!  A nice little run of environmental terrorism thanks to Denver resident Grant Barnes.  And within a mile of my house!  

The reasons to abstain from purchasing Hummer are countless, unless you’re roadtripping to Tikrit, but here’s another one:  People hate you.  Yeah torching someone’s property is inherently wrong, but doesn’t the teehee gleeful joy of seeing a Hummer on fire outweigh most of the negatives?  Of course it does…

Story and photo from KUSA

DENVER - After multiple sports utility fires in the metro area police have arrested a man they believe to be involved. On Thursday night just after 11 p.m. police noticed a driver exhibited suspicious behavior in the general area of the fires.

After a routine traffic stop, police arrested 24-year-old Grant Barnes. Phil Champagne of the Denver Fire Department said evidence was found in Barnes vehicle to support his arrest. Additionally, fire investigators found an ‘improvised incendiary device’ at the scene of one of the fires. They believe this had been used during the fires.

The Thursday night incident is similar to one that happened on Saturday just a block away when neighbors say they awoke to find another SUV on fire. Denver Fire investigators aren’t yet saying if the two incidents are connected, however, an arson investigation is under way.

Federal Judge Blocks Online Pornography restrictions. From the NY Times and EETimes. And Focus on the Family is involved wouldn’t ya know.  Just more proof that Focus is nothing more than a political lobbying group trying to establish their own theological rule on our country, rather than the folksy aw shucks group that just wants to help you raise your kid right. 

Why should I be restricted at what LEGAL things I can view, and LEGAL activities I can engage in online, just because you can’t control what your children do online?   Do you let your six year old wander down the street alone and walk into casinos and adult bookstores?  Then educate yourself and don’t let them do the same on the internet.  Leave me, and your morality laws out of it.

Senior Judge Lowell Reed Jr. of the Federal District Court ruled that the law was ineffective, overly broad and at odds with free speech rights. He added that there are far less restrictive methods, including software filters, that parents can use to control their children’s Internet use.

“Despite my personal regret at having to set aside yet another attempt to protect our children from harmful material,” Judge Reed wrote, he was blocking the law out of concern that “perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if First Amendment protections, which they will with age inherit fully, are chipped away in the name of their protection.”

From the EETimes article, a quote from Focus. 

Daniel Weiss, a senior analyst for media and sexuality with Focus on the Family, said pornography destroys marriages and even young children can become addicted to it. He said his group is doing all it can to reduce both supply and demand. “Our concern is, as it always has been, that, as this was tied up in the courts, children are continuing to be harmed by pornography online and in great numbers,” he said during an interview Thursday.

Guess what Daniel.  Just because pornography is against YOUR morals, doesn’t mean you can ban it for everyone.  To YOU looking at porn is an addiction, to others it’s just surfing the web looking at porn.  If you and your partner have a problem with porn, see a qualified, (non church funded), therapist.   Meanwhile, get the fuck out of my life and the courts.

And my favorite quote:

“If this law had gone into effect, it would have resulted into dumbing down of the Internet,” said Chris Hansen, a lawyer for the American Civil Liberties Union. “All Internet would have had to be brought down to a level that is acceptable to a 6-year-old and that would have had a devastating effect on the kind of interactions that take place on the Internet.”

THANK YOU Judge Lowell Reed for protecting my right to live in the U.S. without the Christian morality groups controlling what I can and can’t do. Please keep fending them off.

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A bane of many bloggers and amateur writers is having content from their blogs and sites copied and used for scraper sites or “splogs”, (spam blogs). The harvested information only exists around a framework of ads in hopes of obtaining ad hits from a sinister sleazy nogoodnick in a smokey off-strip Vegas office.

Copyscape.com lets you plug in your site and checks it against similar content online. I searched futuregringo.com and it pulled up text from articles in which I’ve quoted, and attributed references to. A premium account runs five cents per search. Not a bad price to pay in order to protect your content and track down those who steal it.

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When traveling I always prefer to stay at small hotels, guest homes, or hostels, rather than large chain hotels. I like the feeling of being part of a neighborhood and being a “temporary local” where I can get to know the local vibe and easily walk places.

Many people think of hostels as unkempt run down party houses where a blend of B.O. and marijuana permeate the air. Some are. But many hostels have accommodations that rival a mid range boutique hotel, at about a third of the price. Most hostels have private rooms with private baths for a reasonable price higher than the dorm area. Many hostels offer perks like breakfast, bike rentals, and internet access, and you meet people who know the city and how to enjoy it, rather than a stuffy hotel concierge steering you towards the highest priced bar.

I started researching small hotels and hostels in Munich and Prague for my upcoming spring visit and was overwhelmed at all the options. But with the internet it’s easier than ever to “tour” a place before staying there. I can read candid reviews, search photos, and map out the neighborhood. After some searching and reviewing some locations I found Miss Sophie’s hostel in the New Town section of Prague. Everything I read about Miss Sophie’s was stellar. It appears to be a smart looking hip place, with the only negative comment being “It wasn’t lively enough”. Read “it will be quiet :)” They even have private apartments across the street. I sent them a quick e-mail with a couple questions, and now have a home in Prague, if only for a week. Even hipster webmaster Josh Spear’s gives it high praise. Check back later this spring for a review of my stay.

I never knew about Megabus until reading this article on CNN.com Fares for a dollar, and a decent route map around the midwest? Not bad for someone visiting the midwest on a shoestring, or trying to avoid high last minute airfares.

The Chicago-based company, which began operating in a number of Midwestern cities last year, plans to launch new service April 2 in Pittsburgh; Ann Arbor, Michigan; Columbus, Ohio; Kansas City, Missouri, and Louisville, Kentucky. It already offers service between Chicago and Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, St. Louis and Toledo.

Megabus uses online ticketing and sidewalk stops instead of ticket counters and bus terminals. Passengers do not buy tickets, but instead give drivers reservation numbers they receive when booking online.

The low-cost model was imported from the United Kingdom, where Stagecoach introduced a similar service nearly four years ago.

Here’s their link.

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Czech President Vaclav Klaus labels global warming a “religion”.   In a small way I agree with his logic:  that when you allow your emotion and senses to cloud reason, science, and logic, then you risk damage to your own thinking and the overall cause.   Still, neither he, nor I, nor most people have enough knowledge to accurately assess the state of the planet.  I’ll place my trust in the experts. Perhaps Mr. Klaus will enlighten me over sauerkraut and sausage during my upcoming stay in Prague.

The right-wing president, a free-market champion, wrote to the U.S. Congress that adopting tough environmental policies to fight climate change would have destructive impact on national economies.

‘Communism has been replaced by the threat of an ambitious environmentalism,’ Klaus wrote in response to questions from the U.S. House of Representatives’ Committee on Energy and Commerce.

‘This ideology preaches earth and nature and under the slogans of their protection – similarly to the old Marxists – wants to replace the free and spontaneous evolution of mankind by a sort of central, now global, planning of the whole world,’ he added.

Online free Speech Wins!  Your inability to control what your children view online should not affect what legal activities I choose to partake in online.  Period.  From the New York Times:

A federal judge in Philadelphia struck down a 1998 law today that made it a crime for commercial Web site operators to allow children under 17 to gain access to “harmful” material.

In the ruling, the judge said that software filters installed on home computers, and other less restrictive means, were a better way to protect children than laws that limit free speech.

The law was challenged by operators of web sites about reproductive health, by the online magazine Salon, and by other sites with the support of the American Civil Liberties Union. They argued that the law was unconstitutionally vague, and obtained a temporary injunction to keep it from being enforced while the challenge was pending. The Supreme Court upheld that temporary injunction in 2004 on the ground that the law was likely to be struck down at trial. Charles Miller, a spokesman for the United States Department of Justice, said today that the department is reviewing the decision, and is not ready to say what steps it intends to take next.

Diane Duke, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, an adult entertainment trade group, applauded the decision.  “Predators are the real danger to children, and the adult entertainment community supports prosecution of people who are targeting children,” she said.

A few weeks old, but here’s the leaked “Wal-Mart Three Types of Customers Plan”

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My dream has come to fruition.  Who wants to see this with me?  Check out the preview!  Warm liquid goo phase beginning…

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