I usually mute all commercials while watching TV.  I don’t like being yelled at and prefer to just sit in silence for a few minutes.  However during last Thursday’s episode of Lost I must have been slow on the draw because I remembered and recalled (FYI two key points of a successful ad!)  an Old Chicago spot in which they declared themselves “Official Home of the Calzone.”

My first recation wasn’t an urge to consume this bready, cheesy, carb laden mound of grease - but rather “Huh? The official what now?  What exactly makes it official?” 

In general the word “official” is used to market a product or service in which the parent company or owner is able to promote that product as exclusive to them.  And notice the words “official” and “exclusive” are often used interchangeably.  To market something as truly official requires an agreement with the product being touted as official.  For example Subaru is the official sponsor of the Globe Trekker TV series.  That’s because both parties at some point consented and agreed upon this.  For the same reason Dreyer’s Ice Cream is the “official” ice cream of American Idol.  American Idol ice cream?  Sure its stupid, but officially official because Dreyer’s and American Idol agreed upon it. 

A calzone cannot consent or agree to serve one single restaurant.  This is because a calzone is a conscious lacking food creation incapable of being exclusive to Old Chicago.  To my knowledge there is no governing body overseeing the sale and marketing of calzones, thus a retailer declaring itself as “official” carries no weight or authority whatsoever.

Like the photo of the calzone above, this campaign may appear substantial, but the phrase “Official Home of the Calzone,”  is really just empty and bloated - which is how I usually feel after eating at Old Chicago.

For the Future Gringo recommended calzone I suggest visiting Dolce Sicilia, a wonderful Italian bakery at 32nd and Wadsworth.

officially by James Van Dellen