Lacking something better to do Rep. Heath Shuler of North Carolina is sponsoring a bill that would ban violent and sexually suggestive movies from U.S. airlines.  Never mind that in-flight movies are already selected from the pile deemed LEAST offensive,  but then they’re usually edited down further to the point of being unwatchable for most adults.  That’s right, adults.  I prefer to live in a society where the demarcation line of culture and behavioral norms doesn’t fall right above a kindergarten class.  That doesn’t mean that every public space should be a red light district, but do you really want public spaces to be dumbed down to a Chuck E. Cheese level for ALL citizens?

Another busybody, Jesse Kalisher, of Chapel Hill, started the site www.kidsafefilms.com to encourage bored and/or outraged parents to become involved.  In addition to a bitchy petition letter and horror stories of children almost joining gangs or becoming gay upon deplaning after viewing movies like King Kong, this poster actually writes something we can both agree on!

I no longer fly with my children because of the coarseness of in-flight entertainment.
— Marta McGrath

Right on Marta!  Airlines are having enough problems simply taking off and landing at their destinations in a timely manner, if they make it there at all, without needing to worry if “50 First Dates” will traumatize children.  Get congress and government out of such trivial concerns.  Senators and congressmen:  WHY do you let such stupid groups push you around?  YOU know this isn’t an important issue!  If enough parents believe this is truly a problem they will stop flying with “A” airline, and “B” airline will step in and fill their need.  In fact this crazy free market concept already exists in the nascent of air travel:  Southwest is known for goofiness and frivolity, JetBlue is known for upscale budget with personal video screens – hear that angry moms?  There’s “Smintair” in Germany which caters to smokers, and we had Hooters Air for a while in the U.S. for those perpetually horny travelers.  See?  Where there’s a need, the market will provide.

Cranky Flier had further analysis and this to say:

A bunch of passengers suffer without in-flight entertainment just because a couple of parents can’t prevent their kid from watching the movie. Give ‘em a blindfold or some baby Ambien (or something else that doesn’t exist just in fantasy land). Or better yet, just don’t fly on planes with overhead screens. This doesn’t impact flights with personal screens because you can turn those off yourself, so there are plenty of options for parents who really care about this.

I’ve said it before: Regulations and laws should exist to protect people from the dangers of plummeting elevators, defective airbags, and tainted peanut butter. Government doesn’t need to be involved in the mundane, trivial, and compartmentalized aspects of consumerism.  But if they do, how about controlling something more obnoxious:  The blaring news channels above every other airport gate.  I find noise pollution much more intrusive then quasi-adult movies with the sound off, and I lost my TV-B-Gone.